about.

who i am.

in 2023, after two years of struggling to find a place to truly belong, i moved to the bay area. the household that i became a part of was instrumental in shaping a lot of my current politics and became my ideal for real, lifelong companionship. i have finally started my journey of unlearning a lot of pain interwoven into me and revisited what love truly meant for my relationships. it was in the midst of all of this that i became heavily involved in activism and social justice. that same year, i finally began my transition in earnest, seeking to align my body with my spirit.

this is the current phase that i find myself in: my very second puberty as it were - growing pains 2.0. it’s led to some more interesting revelations for me, mostly to do with my sexuality (though i haven’t put a pin on it, and maybe never will!) but at the end of the day, i move through the world with love in my heart.

things that encompass me:

i unfortunately have a complex love-hate relationship for tech
i have been described as a theater kid, much to my (mostly) dismay
for the entirety of maybe 2023, my entire life was dropout.tv content (which if you haven’t tried dimension 20, you really should)
i love my friends. if i wrote a memoir, my times with them would stretch from cover to cover.
i dedicate my life to hatred of chocolate.
- it’s just so bitter! i can’t stand it 😭
i have no idea how to write an about page.
i dedicate a lot of my time to writing poetry. one day i might post some on here.

who i was.

circa 2023, i was a mess. i remained closeted (not only to my loved ones, but also to myself - much to the detriment of my soul) and was without purpose. it feels cliché to say that things felt like they were turning around by the end of 2019. new year’s 2020 hit and i thought i finally figured things out. we all know what happened next.

despite all of the depressing shit that came out of the ensuing lockdown, i came to a different epiphany. really grappling with what gender meant to me, and also stumbling into a blossoming little community that showed me a different path forward, was probably what saved me in the end. bella, gale, and the rest of our silly friend group - my gratitude is eternal.

things that encompassed me:

afraid of looking too long in the mirror.
- i did not know the term gender dysphoria until much later.
class clown, but weirdly lonely.
my nickname was based off of a popular filipino food brand. points if you guess which one!
i was unabashedly a theater kid, loudly belting musical songs with my best friend, raven.
- raven, you were my rock. i love you fondly.
i had no idea how to write an about page.
i dedicated a lot of my time to writing poetry. be thankful i’m not posting the ones from this time. one day i might post some on here (in the far, far future).

specs

because i love listing arbitrary stuff like hardware and software, here are the things that keep me going in day-to-day life.

hardware

laptop

desktop

currently being used as the living room pc. couch gaming ftw

motherboard: gigabyte b550-i aorus pro ax
cpu: amd ryzen 7 3700x
gpu: gigabyte aorus rtx 3080 xtreme 10g
ram: teamgroup vulcan z 16gb (2x8gb) ddr4-3600 cl18
psu: coolermaster v850 sfx gold
cooler: thermalright peerless assassin 120
storage:
- wd_black sn850p 4tb nvme (yes, i know it’s for a ps5. got it on a good deal)
- intel ssd 545s series 512gb 2.5“
- crucial p1 1tb nvme
controller: ps5 controller

server(s)

musing

main dev environment on rpi 4b+ running raspbian lite
hosting files generated via zola static site generator
- running modified version of anemone theme for zola, along with a locally hosted & edited version of their suCSS framework.
hosted on neocities for now, will self-host at later time.