../lookback-march-2025
By leaf
lookback: march 2025
Table of contents
March was a whirlwind of a month, especially with Ramadan added on top! I did end up not committing to as much of the abstinence portions of it as I had previously desired (much harder to do when you take music class)!
Frankly, this month was really depressing as well, due to a lot of personal shit that I won’t deign to get into. Know that I’m getting back up on my feet and trying to do things again.
Completed
Games
- Lost Records: Bloom and Rage (2025) - I technically completed the first tape within the first few days of April, but I’ll consider it in this month’s lookback, only because I want to gush about this game. It’s an incredible work and I can see just how much love and detail was poured into every facet of it. I pretty much couldn’t put it back down after I picked it up (aside from the many CTD’s that I experienced, which was immersion-breaking at some points). I had a lot of fun with this one, along with my housemates, and I even started writing fanfiction again (or at least attempting to?) in much speculation while the second tape hasn’t been released yet. A lot of it might become outdated, but fuck it! I miss that feeling of writing.
Misc
- Ramadan! This was a very challenging and eye opening experience for me. This was my first time participating in Ramadan, so I learned a lot of new things along the way thanks to the people that were fasting alongside me. The community aspect of it was very encouraging, which might’ve helped push me through to the second half of the month honestly. I could not have done this alone. I think I also realized how much of me was hurting and relying on so many distractions that life has provided me in order to cope and regulate my depression. Without food and without a lot of the things that I’d taken for granted, like media for example, the days became a bit too painful to live in. I think I want to work on that a lot more so that my mental fortitude is at least a little stronger next year, or the year after.
Started
Games
- Started playing Minecraft again with a few friends, which has been really healing for me. I think I’ve just got too many painful memories around this game and people I was once close with. It’s nice to not be so concerned about that this time around.
Misc
- Went to the library recently and checked out a few books to read! I usually have a lot of trouble committing to reading, so hopefully the deadline of returning these books to the library will motivate me in some way. I also think that the books I’ve been attempting to read so far have all been pretty depressing or overall difficult in terms of concepts and comprehension.
- Funnily enough, I got back into reading My Hero Academia fanfiction, specifically femship of Himiko Toga x Uraraka Ochako! I pretty much found out suuuper recently about the way their specific “relationship” ended in the official series and was subsequently DEVASTATED. Thus, I spent the good last bit of March just binging through that specific tag on Archive of Our Own. Shoutout to all the authors out there doing the good work!!
In Progress
Misc
- Technology is nice, but it sure does suck sometimes. My laptop randomly stopped being able to play audio out loud and it appears to be a Windows service thing rather than a hardware thing. I’m in the process of backing up all my files before reinstalling Windows or maybe even switching to Linux entirely. Frankly, I’m sick of all this shit.
On Hold
Games
- Honestly the majority of the games that I’ve put on my previous lookbacks are basically on hold right now. I think I’m also having trouble focusing on playing one game through to the end, coupled with a lot of life commitments eating away at my free time, and you’ve got a recipe for indecision and anxiety. I know games can and should help me relax, but I usually stress myself out even on the most laid back games. This might be more of a mindset issue than an “all the games I play are boring” issue.